Retirement Inspirational Farewell Funny Quotes Jokes

Happy Retirement Inspirational Quotes !!! Every other person who works for some firm has to retire someday in their tenure. On the retirement day, the organization would regard them with few perks. While their co-workers would give a grand farewell to them. While their friends, relatives, near and dear would send them few retirement wishes, retirement quotes etc. All those who look to send retirement wishes would surf the web for retirement inspirational quotes funny, retirement farewell quotes funny, retirement funny quotes jokes etc.

Retirement Inspirational Quotes Funny

Men do not quit playing because they grow old; they grow old because they quit playing. - Oliver Wendell Holmes

The trouble with retirement is that you never get a day off. - Abe Lemons

Rest is not idleness, and to lie sometimes on the grass under trees on a summer's day, listening to the murmur of the water, or watching the clouds float across the sky, is by no means a waste of time. - J. Lubbock

Golf is played by twenty million mature American men whose wives think they are out having fun. - Jim Bishop

When a man retires, his wife gets twice the husband but only half the income. - Chi Chi Rodriguez

The question isn't at what age I want to retire, it's at what income. - George Foreman

Half our life is spent trying to find something to do with the time we have rushed through life trying to save. - Will Rogers

"Best wishes on your retirement. Enjoy a rest that's overdue. Take pleasure in the finer things that are awaiting you." - Judith Wibberley

"There are some who start their retirement long before they stop working." Robert Half

"Living frugally now however, can help you start your very own retirement plan for the future." - Ricky Gomez, Frugal Living

The funny thing about retirement is that it makes you realize the importance of medical insurance

Do you think that life after retirement is an adventure? Well, it is if you count trekking out of bed, climbing atop sofas and diving into takeaways. Have fun.

Remember all those things that you wanted to do in your life, but didn't because you never had the time? Don't plan on doing them after your retirement either - you will either be too old or too poor to afford them now. Wish you a happy retirement.

Retirement is like a never-ending weekend party except that you can't drink, can't hook up and can't stay up all night even if you want to. So in short, it is boring. Congratulations.

Congratulations on your retirement but don't get too eager to relax yet. Get ready to tire yourself out with grandkids, gardening and many other chores.

Some people say that retirement signifies the end of all of life's tension, but that's true only if you have a grand pension.

'Few men of action have been able to make a graceful exit at the appropriate time.' - Malcolm Muggeridge

'A man is known by the company that keeps him on after retirement age.' - Anon

'There's one thing I always wanted to do before I quit…retire!' - Groucho Marx

Retirement Farewell Quotes Funny

• Except for an occasional heart attack I feel as young as I ever did - Robert Benchley
• I enjoy waking up and not having to go to work. So I do it three or four times a day. - Gene Perret
• A retired husband is often a wife's full-time job - Ella Harris
• What do gardeners do when they retire? - Bob Monkhouse
• It doesn't matter whether you behave like a grumpy retiree or not, because people are going to assume that anyways. Good luck dealing with that.
• Retirement - Wheels are still spinning, but the hampster's slowing down.
• Retirement is like a long vacation in Las Vegas. The goal is to enjoy it the fullest, but not so fully that you run out of money.- Jonathan Clements
• When you retired and time is no longer a matter of urgent importance, I do hope your colleagues didn't present you with a watch.
• Retirement: When you quit working just before your heart does
• Retirement means no pressure, no stress, no heartache… unless you play golf. ~ Gene Perret
• When you retire, you switch bosses - from the one who hired you to the one who married you. ~ Gene Perret
• A gold watch is the most appropriate gift for retirement, as its recipients have given up so many of their golden hours in a lifetime of service. ~Terri Guillemets
• In retirement, every day is Boss Day and every day is Employee Appreciation Day. ~ Terri Guillemets
• Happiness is being retired and spending all of my kids' inheritance before I die! - Anon
• Like life, retirement can be full of surprises.
  Take when you retire, for example. - Talbot Boggs

Do read: Christian Wedding Congratulations Quotes

Relaxing Music Video for Retirement Funny Quotes

Retirement Funny Quotes Jokes

• Regular naps prevent old age, especially if you take them while driving.
• The reason grandchildren and grandparents get along so well is because they have a common "enemy".
• Money isn't everything but it sure keeps you in touch with your children.
• Somewhere an elderly lady reads a book on how to use the internet, while a young boy googles "how to read a book".
• Do you realize that in about 40 years, we'll have thousands of old ladies running around with tattoos?
• Why do Retirees smile all the time? Because they can't hear a word you're saying!
• There is an enormous number of managers who have retired on the job. - Peter Drucker
• I was at an ATM and this old lady asked me to help check her balance, so I pushed her over.
• Retirement: It's nice to get out of the rat race, but you have to learn to get along with less cheese. - Gene Perret
• Don't underestimate the value of Doing Nothing, of just going along, listening to all the things you can't hear, and not bothering. - A.A. Milne
• The reason the pro tells you to keep your head down is so you can't see him laughing. - Phyllis Diller
• I've been attending lots of seminars in my retirement. They're called naps.
  - Merri Brownworth
• I'm not just retiring from the company, I'm also retiring from my stress, my commute, my alarm clock, and my iron.
  - Hartman Jule
• Retirement itself is the best gift. No gold watch could ever top it.
  - Abigail Charleson

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