Retirement Inspirational Farewell Funny Quotes Jokes
Retirement Inspirational Quotes Funny
- Men do not quit playing because they grow old; they grow old because they quit playing. – Oliver Wendell Holmes
- The trouble with retirement is that you never get a day off. – Abe Lemons
- Rest is not idleness, and to lie sometimes on the grass under trees on a summer’s day, listening to the murmur of the water, or watching the clouds float across the sky, is by no means a waste of time. – J. Lubbock
- Golf is played by twenty million mature American men whose wives think they are out having fun. – Jim Bishop
- When a man retires, his wife gets twice the husband but only half the income. – Chi Chi Rodriguez
- The question isn’t at what age I want to retire, it’s at what income. – George Foreman
- Half our life is spent trying to find something to do with the time we have rushed through life trying to save. – Will Rogers
- “Best wishes on your retirement. Enjoy a rest that’s overdue. Take pleasure in the finer things that are awaiting you.” – Judith Wibberley
- “There are some who start their retirement long before they stop working.” Robert Half
- “Living frugally now however, can help you start your very own retirement plan for the future.” – Ricky Gomez, Frugal Living
- The funny thing about retirement is that it makes you realize the importance of medical insurance
- Do you think that life after retirement is an adventure? Well, it is if you count trekking out of bed, climbing atop sofas and diving into takeaways. Have fun.
- Remember all those things that you wanted to do in your life, but didn’t because you never had the time? Don’t plan on doing them after your retirement either – you will either be too old or too poor to afford them now. Wish you a happy retirement.
- Retirement is like a never-ending weekend party except that you can’t drink, can’t hook up and can’t stay up all night even if you want to. So in short, it is boring. Congratulations.
- Congratulations on your retirement but don’t get too eager to relax yet. Get ready to tire yourself out with grandkids, gardening and many other chores.
- Some people say that retirement signifies the end of all of life’s tension, but that’s true only if you have a grand pension.
- ‘Few men of action have been able to make a graceful exit at the appropriate time.’ – Malcolm Muggeridge
- ‘A man is known by the company that keeps him on after retirement age.’ – Anon
- ‘There’s one thing I always wanted to do before I quit…retire!’ – Groucho Marx
- ‘I’ve lit the blue touch paper and found there’s nowhere to retire to.’ – Doctor Who
Also read: Happy Wedding Wishes to Friends Parents
Retirement Farewell Quotes Funny
- Except for an occasional heart attack I feel as young as I ever did – Robert Benchley
- I enjoy waking up and not having to go to work. So I do it three or four times a day. – Gene Perret
- A retired husband is often a wife’s full-time job – Ella Harris
- What do gardeners do when they retire? – Bob Monkhouse
- It doesn’t matter whether you behave like a grumpy retiree or not, because people are going to assume that anyways. Good luck dealing with that.
- Retirement – Wheels are still spinning, but the hampster’s slowing down.
- Retirement is like a long vacation in Las Vegas. The goal is to enjoy it the fullest, but not so fully that you run out of money.- Jonathan Clements
- When you retired and time is no longer a matter of urgent importance, I do hope your colleagues didn’t present you with a watch.
- Retirement: When you quit working just before your heart does
- Retirement means no pressure, no stress, no heartache… unless you play golf. ~ Gene Perret
- When you retire, you switch bosses — from the one who hired you to the one who married you. ~ Gene Perret
- A gold watch is the most appropriate gift for retirement, as its recipients have given up so many of their golden hours in a lifetime of service. ~Terri Guillemets
- In retirement, every day is Boss Day and every day is Employee Appreciation Day. ~ Terri Guillemets
- Happiness is being retired and spending all of my kids’ inheritance before I die! — Anon
- Like life, retirement can be full of surprises.
Take when you retire, for example. — Talbot Boggs
Retirement Funny Quotes Jokes
- Regular naps prevent old age, especially if you take them while driving.
- The reason grandchildren and grandparents get along so well is because they have a common “enemy”.
- Money isn’t everything but it sure keeps you in touch with your children.
- Somewhere an elderly lady reads a book on how to use the internet, while a young boy googles “how to read a book”.
- Do you realize that in about 40 years, we’ll have thousands of old ladies running around with tattoos?
- Why do Retirees smile all the time? Because they can’t hear a word you’re saying!
- There is an enormous number of managers who have retired on the job. – Peter Drucker
- I was at an ATM and this old lady asked me to help check her balance, so I pushed her over.
- Retirement: It’s nice to get out of the rat race, but you have to learn to get along with less cheese. – Gene Perret
- Don’t underestimate the value of Doing Nothing, of just going along, listening to all the things you can’t hear, and not bothering. – A.A. Milne
- The reason the pro tells you to keep your head down is so you can’t see him laughing. – Phyllis Diller
- I’ve been attending lots of seminars in my retirement. They’re called naps.
— Merri Brownworth
- I’m not just retiring from the company, I’m also retiring from my stress, my commute, my alarm clock, and my iron.
— Hartman Jule
- Retirement itself is the best gift. No gold watch could ever top it.
— Abigail Charleson
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